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(It wasn’t true.) “There were also anonymous Instagram accounts spreading shit about people.” She learned some valuable lessons.

“I sent Snapchats in ninth grade that got saved and circulated around.” She doesn’t blame herself, exactly: “The guys should have known that wasn’t something that’s OK. wasn’t Being a person of color, Diya says, dating is “a whole ‘nother ball game.

You can also Face Time, bringing your digital relationship all the more up close and personal. “It’s easy to take a feminist stance in politics and public issues,” notes feminist author and Medium columnist Jessica Valenti, “but making that work in a private life feels much harder.

I’m hearing from young women that it’s not so hard to find a boyfriend who says he’s a feminist, but that’s not the same thing as finding someone who lives it.”There was no question among the young, college-educated women I talked to that being a feminist was part of their lives, something they agreed with intellectually as well as emotionally.

“It’s not a responsibility but a big opportunity.”I heard some horror stories, namely about gaslighting, manipulation, and shaming.

These things tended to happen more when the women I talked to were young — teens in middle school or high school just starting to date and figure themselves out.

I’m a native New Yorker, an Asian female in my mid-20s.

As someone who mostly has been in long-term relationships and has only just started dating again, I am here to announce some bad news: The NYC dating scene is an absolute crapshoot. I’ve met many great people here, some of whom radiate chemistry and most of whom do not.

The women I talked to, however, don’t tend to demand feminism bona fides before going on dates or hanging out with someone.

Zoe has found “a lot of guys aren’t ready to call themselves feminists, even if they believe in it.” Michelle adds, “I have had many conversations where a guy will describe his own beliefs about women, consent, and equal rights, and they fall right in line with being a feminist.

Then, when I ask them if they would consider themselves a feminist, they’d balk, saying things like ‘Feminist is just too radical of a word — it reminds me of bra burners and feminazis.’”Say the guys do identify as such: How do you know if they truly believe it, or are just saying it to get in bed with you?

At the same time, a man who’s bragged about groping women holds the top office in our country, the gender pay gap persists, and abortion rights continue to be chipped away in various states.

The internet has allowed information and porn to spread on an unprecedented scale, without necessarily promoting nuance or kindness or even accuracy.

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