Dating someone who is not yet divorced
There are probably many times you hear reference to your divorced partner’s ex that make you bristle with annoyance and or envy.
Little remarks about how the ex was efficient or good at managing certain situations.
If you imagine that despite being divorced, your date’s previous relationship is still alive and kicking because, then you hand over power to a relationship that didn’t work and broke up.
A need to compete with this ‘ex’ who suddenly appears to be a paragon of skill and admiration overtakes you.
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I have a friend who met someone who has been separated for several months but is not yet divorced.
Even if that attachment was hurtful or destructive, it’s still a powerful pull.
It’s less about you not being up to par, and more about your partner continuing the process of emotional separation, creating a new personal identity.