Dating online stories

But I was like, okay, you aren't perfect either, it will be fine. So we spend 45 min in Yankee candle while he basically runs an errand. Then he's like, oh, I am hungry I think we need dinner. I kinda just wanna go home at this point but I figure maybe he was just nervous at the beginning, things will get better when we aren't in public. So I am kinda picking around the onions, and he won't let me waste the food and insists on packaging it up so I can take it home. He pours soap on his hairy tummy, and literally used it like a body scrubber against my body, lathering it up by rubbing his hairy body on mine. I get done as fast as possible, pull my clothes on, and am waiting for the uber in his room when I look up and realize there is a giant, 5 foot python staring at me from behind some moldy glass. What I do remember vividly is finding his public hairs in my vagina for the next TWO DAYS. He seemed nice enough so I decided to meet up with him and see where it went.

Of course, I know that blithely stating that I regularly used a drug like PCP is kind of like briefly mentioning that I used to fuck deer, so I won’t dig myself a deeper hole by trying to justify it. One side effect of consistent drug abuse is a faulty memory, so I decided to blaze up at the reasonable hour of 11 am on a Saturday. It was earlier this year, and I was trying out online dating for the very first time just to see what was out there.For whatever reason, Bumble was my first foray into the online dating world. I like to rephrase this as "hopeless optimism" but really it is just being naive.Anyway, I started talking with a guy and he seemed really genuine and kind. We talked on the phone (audio only) for over an hour, ended up in a little phone sex, and I was excited to meet up. I kept trying to make hints, like let's go see a movie, walk around the mall, etc etc.He only had a couple pics, and a cute face, but he was always wearing a hat. I was surprised I found someone I wanted to meet so quickly. And not only did he take me to the mall, he took me to Barnes and Noble. He just kept going through books, like actually reading chapters.

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