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Fittingly, Donald Trump shares with Boris not only a terrible mop but a 24-year age gap with his squeeze, Melania.
Given Wolfe’s way for satirising political posturing and power plays, one wonders what he would have made of all this recent news.
He controlled the relationship, at least superficially. We also had different ideas of what qualifies as fun. so we could have the first pick of strawberries at the farmers’ market. But in hindsight, I think we might have just been incompatible.
I quickly learned that constantly feeling like a dependent child can be a real boner-killer. I wanted to take ketamine and lie on the floor in public. He also avoided hanging out with my friends—my theory was that he hated feeling like the old man at the party, while he argued that “going to Brooklyn is embarrassing.” And then there was the issue of energy levels: He would come once, and then pronounce his dick out of commission until tomorrow. Realistically, the proverbial conflict of horse tranquilizers versus fresh produce can happen in any relationship, regardless of age.
He gave me helpful advice on my career (“Don’t fuck your boss”) and about sex (“Stop screaming”). Whenever the Older Man and I went out, he chose the restaurant.
I wonder: What do we gain and lose from dating someone of a different generation? For one, he wore silk onesie pajamas that he meticulously ironed to have a crease down the center of the pant leg.
He also practiced Buddhist chanting (à la Courtney Love).
The Older Man was also my editor, which added a power imbalance to the mix—a dynamic we all know can be equal parts problematic and irresistible.
People raise their eyebrows at relationships with a significant age gap: If you’re the older guy, you’re creepy and exploitative; if you’re the older woman, you’re both of those things plus delusional about your shelf life.